NEVER COMPROMISE TO FIT IN--- MOSES EMORINKEN
WORD: I will not compromise or drop my values just to fit in...

Dear friends,

Why are you trying to "fit in" when you were created to "standout"?

Why are you suffocating your inner voice of truth just to be embraced by the noisy and lousy opinion of others?

The need for acceptance by the majority has led many people to get lost in the crowd; they lose their unique voices and end up not recognizing the man or woman they see in the mirror.

My friend, stand for what is right and what you believe; don't compromise, don't settle...because people accept what is the same, but eventually RESPECT what is different.

Be DIFFERENT!

Have a great week!

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Too Sore

Too sore

        I saw an advert to submit our experiences and felt I should share mine too. Bear with me though, I'm too sore to write much. I'm at my uncle's place now, it's the holidays and his wife has travelled which means I spend most of my days in his house being sore, especially when my cousin, his son, who is five years older and eighteen is not around.
         My daddy makes me sore too, whenever he gets angry, he loosen his belt and makes my bum sore, then he embraces me, wipe my tears, gives me ice cream and tells me "don't do it again". But my uncle, he never gets angry, always with a soothing voice, yet still he loosens his belt and makes me sore, right through my heart and right down there. He embraces me too, gives me something creamy and tells me "let's do this again and don't tell anyone". Sorry i have to end it here, I'm a little too sore to write much and I can hear my mother's brother calling, guess this evening I'll be sore a lot more.



                                            OSAr

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The Power of A Paradigm Shift {2}

Success is a complicated subject. it means positive and wonderful things. 

For jambites, it means gaining admission to their desired universities to study their dream course.
For teachers, it means having students who would always stand out.
But for the most part, we all know that every behaviour has a positive intent, so what we do is aimed at what we call 'success'.
Still under our paradigm shifting experience, let's re-calibrate or redefine our views about success.
Success is not just gaining admission. it is far beyond having excellent students.
Success is not really about wealth, fame or degrees.
True success is not tied to external things, that's why you should not label yourself based on external titles, association and things.
Success is not just the stupendous outward degree of excellence we see. True success starts from within. It is an inside-out thing.
It focuses on the improvement of the self. Instead of striving to get more done all the time, why not try to improve yourself?
Why not try to live more? Why not try to work more on your private life so your public life would match your core beliefs?
If you want an amazing 2018, you must start redefining what true success is now. *Consider what will matter most on your death bed.*
You might think you didn't really achieve as you should this year, but most times you think this way because you wanted to only get more.
For me, my inside out journey towards real success started when I eliminated the competition spirit.
Until then, I saw life as a battlefield where the mantra was *‘eat others or be eaten’* and life is a survival of the fittest.
But when I learnt that success is knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potentials and sowing seeds that benefits others, I changed almost immediately.

Spend some time today to ask yourself some real questions
Ask yourself, Will this matter in five years?
Am I really loving and living my life or am I merely striving to live for the society?
Am I really doing what I want to do
Spend some time today. In the end, you'd get that specific thing you should be doing, then you get up and run!

Uti Emmanuel 

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The Power of A Paradigm Shift

How did you feel when you notice that there's nothing like *‘Old school’* but *‘Old's cool?’*
How did you react the day you discovered that *'i.e'* doesn't mean *'that is'* but *'in essence'*?
Did you marvel at your knowledge when you read that it is not *‘ayamatanga’* but I am at anger?
If you didn't, I did. I was just surprised the day I discovered all of these but amazingly I changed my views immediately.  That is the power of a paradigm shift.
A paradigm (not paradigim) is a model, and a model is a representation of something.
For humans, our paradigm, model or map is what determines the reality we see or is a representation of reality
Hence, the map (our perception of reality) is not the territory (reality).
For instance, two people might see something an give a different report. But whatever report they give is based on how they see reality not reality itself. 
This explains why where we stand depends on where we sit.
You may have attended many seminars where you were told to ‘never give up. Work hard’ etc but if you fail to deal with the real problem, which often is how you see a problem, nothing would work.
For instance, no matter how you develop a positive attitude, given the wrong map, you'll only get to the wrong direction faster
You might not have achieved all of your goals because you have the wrong map about success but you can correct that map to make the best of next year.
Through the admission of ignorance which is the first step in our education, we can easily correct out maps by starting through an inside out approach.
We all need a new level of thinking to create the kind of life we want for ourselves. And such can only happen from inside out.
My point?
Change how you see things.
The power of a paradigm shift is the essential power of quantum change.
 change  how you see things, the things you see change, and success becomes easy to get.

Uti Emmanuel 

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MY ANTHEM

Arise oh compatriots
have we decided to wake our forefathers
Nigeria call obey
when we don't even respect traffic light
 To serve our father's land
and everybody is traveling out
With love and strength and faith
with recession and poverty all around
The labour of our heroes past
has been covered with corruption
Shall never be in vain
amen oh.... but cabal rules
To serve with heart and might
somebody has not even eaten enough
One nation bound in freedom
with the likes of arewa,ipob,boko and militants
Peace and unity
sincerely speaking do we even listen or watch news?

Oh! God of creation
help us oh!
Direct our noble cause
cos we have deviated
Guide our leaders right
when power has blinded them
Help our youth the truth to know
that our leaders are greedy and selfish
In love and honesty to grow
do we even trust ourselves
And live in just and truth
when our lawyers are not fair
Great lofty height attained
at 57 we are regarded as a Third World country
To build a nation where peace
reigns? not now,not today maybe later in the future
and justice reigns
 lies!  where corruption and jungle justice reigns

I pledge to Nigeria my country
who have disappointed me
To be faithful,loyal and honest
is it to the corrupt leaders or who?
To serve Nigeria with all my strength
who don't even know I exist
To defend her unity
if it were a real lady, I would
And uphold her honour and glory
if it were a damsel I will
So help me God
to survive these hard times in my country.

OKUNUGA SAMUEL

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ACADEMIC PROSTITUTION: The Nigerian Story

 A couple of weeks back, I sat with my sister as we discussed issues ranging from her academic life to her social and spiritual status. Her examinations were fast approaching and deep down I knew that it was only a matter of time before the issue of money would spring up – I was just playing the smart ‘James Bond’ role of a caring and concerned brother, waiting for the best opportunity to dose off to some hot gossip about a sadist lecturer or an annoying best friend. The heavenly bodies were just about to grant my requests when – “Brother I need money” – hit me from the opposite chair. As a hardworking student that I also am, I had to tell her to wait till I make some. She simply said, “Brother it’s urgent and I have to get money now unless you want me to join them.” Now that’s where the problem rang bells.

   I always wanted to do an article on prostitution in Nigeria and its growing acceptance amongst corporate professions and even the so called legal systems, most especially after videos surfaced online of an Akwa-Ibom state University student who arrested a man who picked her up and gave her N1,000 against the agreed N20,000 for the night, but this went beyond Nigeria, it was a global thing. Brazilians, Mexicans and Malaysians even boast a worldwide network of Prostitution on streets and across borders but it is safe to say that it wasn’t a part of our culture. The issue now went beyond having young female graduates, dropouts or less privileged, litter the streets at odd hours, to creating an educational system that promotes this uncharitable act as the ‘only’ means of survival.

   In Nigeria today, it is no longer news when a chief or chairman drops off another man’s daughter at school on a Monday morning after a weekend of ‘Business Trip’ down her matrimonial virtues; the smiling lady who now has a bulging purse to pay her school fees and buy books with, blows a kiss to the waiting 50 year old man/baby who in turn blushes like melted jelly. They are everywhere, in every higher institution, almost every department and level. The big girl clique; housing the ones who are ready to handle a sugar-daddy aristo and give him the same pleasures a ‘poverty stricken boyfriend’ would demand, with the added advantage of getting some of the allocation that should have gotten home to a patient house wife – call it using what you have to get what you want.

   When I say it wasn’t part of our culture, I draw reference from the facts that in ancient Hausa tradition, a lady had no business with a man until she was in her teens and ready for marriage. A Yoruba lady would not be caught dead in another man’s car in the name of being dropped off from school and the issue of lecturers/students’ affairs was at an all-time low. Where then did it all go wrong, how did we lose the plot?

   Speaking to lady who pleaded to have her name off record, she had this to say in Pidgin English; “ahnahn, se na today you just de hear about that one? Oga everybody wan survive so as man de chache de make money, we sef go rub person back small and e go drop bar shikena, na give and take.” The openness of this shocking revelation struck me. Gone are the days when virginity and virtue were celebrated among young spinsters and bragged about by their parents. Who then is responsible for this ‘Give and Take’ mechanism?

The Homefront

   Charity is believed to begin at home but when the home isn’t as charitable enough to finance the upgrade from an underprivileged lifestyle to the ‘Big girl’ clique, it becomes an ultimate search to find a man who’s ready to cripple his own home to satisfy your needs while short-changing his own daughter who in turn gets herself a similar man in a cycle where no one is immune. Sadly though, when the young girl who is supposed to be struggling without the books you couldn’t afford, strolls in with a new iPhone and bag of new clothes allegedly gifted by a close friend, no one cares to probe! No one cares about the real story, after all, “she’ll one day live alone so it’s good that she can fend for herself.”

Peer Pressure.

   I prefer to look at this factor as the ‘Bandwagon effect’. A certain school of thought is of the opinion that we are what we see, read, hear and experience. It goes same for student prostitution. Every lady gets attracted to the material benefits and added attention derived from the flashy lifestyle and no matter how cultured or religious they may be, it tends to cross the mind occasionally. These constant negative energy transform to reassurance of; “isn’t it just sex?  He’ll have his way for one or two hours and I’ll get what I need, at least I’m doing it for an important purpose.”

School system

   It’s funny how I blame the school system for being the cause of a norm that is now threatening to cripple the same academic system’s image by presenting it as a breeding ground for indecent activity. What’s funnier should be the fact that over 80% of these ones who are responsible for patronising the academic hustlers, have their children schooling abroad in a much friendlier environment while the remaining ones are over here shouting sermons into their daughters’ ears about how demonic men are looking for ladies for ritual. They ask their daughters to bring all their troubles home so as not to fall prey to the same demonic hustle gang that they belong to.

   The lecturers aren’t left out. The cost of attending a federal university may be relatively lower, but when placed in contrast to the recommended minimum wage, does it remain cost-friendly? Then we have the lecturers who expect you to get a ‘necessary’ textbook and greet them with a smile before coming to their offices for guidance and academic counselling for ladies ONLY. Hmmm!

   The culture of the African child and society is gradually drifting to oblivion as we adopt a “new normal”. Moral decadence has fallen to levels beyond communal or personal repairs and what is currently needed is a nationwide sensitization and criminalisation of the act of student prostitution with stiffer penalties so as to deter anyone nursing ides of joining the bandwagon. My sister’s probably going to have ladies breathing down her neck for inspiring this with our little talk but in the long run, she’ll look back and smile about being part of a “New normal”.

 Ojukwu Daniel

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SUCCESS - A DELIBERATE EFFORT. PART ONE

(THE NEED FOR GOAL SETTING).
 Definition of success
The oxford dictionary defines success as the accomplishment of an aim or goal.
Everyone desires success,  non-chalent ones not excluded. However, you must know and understand that success doesn’t just happen. It requires deliberate efforts; you have to work towards making it happen. There is a need for planning.
Success in life, business, academics, ministry etc is intentional.
In the part one of this series, I’ll be emphasizing on goal-setting as a success strategy; the need for goal setting.
It is quite surprising that a lot of people do not set goals, not to talk of accomplishing them. This is often as a result of laziness, non-challant attitude towards success; they do not believe in deliberate planning and are not result-oriented.
If you must record success, you must make goal-setting a priority, you must learn to deliberately set goals and work towards them. Let your success be deliberate.
What is a goal?
A goal is an ambition, object of desire, objective, purpose, aspiration. Goal-setting is an act of making an objective, an aspiration. It involves,

• Goal conceiving
• Goal writing
• Goal implementation

Goal conceiving:  goal conceiving/goal birthing, is an act of developing an idea, birthing a goal, having a target. If your target is not defined, you won’t walk with a direction.
This is the starting point to success as you cannot achieve what you have not conceived. Have a target;
 SET A TARGET FOR YOURSELF.
In academics, don’t read to ‘just’ pass, have a target or point you want to reach; clearly define your goals and aims. Success is intentional-you make it happen. I challenge you to have a dream, a goal. Set a target!
Goal writing: after conceiving a goal, WRITE IT DOWN. Put them down on paper and ink. Writing your goals down helps you remember them. It helps you remain focus and also acts as a source of motivation-it spurs you to action.
Personally, whenever I go through my written goals, I become more awake to my responsibilities and also become more focused.
Don’t just have the picture of what you want to achieve, state it on a paper.
Goal implementing: the purpose of setting goals is to realise it. Remember, goal is an objective you desire to accomplish. After writing down your goals, TAKE STEPS towards achieving them. You are to one to make it happen; it won’t work out itself. If you must record success, then you must be deliberate.
My personal philosophy is that “everything is possible only if you work towards them”.
He who fails to plan; plans to fail. Take responsibility for your life. Success is possible only if you work towards it.
Conceive goals. Write them down. Work towards them. Focus. Trust God.
You can make it!
© Precious U.

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ARE YOU A RESPECTFUL PERSON OR A RESPECTER OF PERSONS

Respect is a feeling of admiration or deference toward a person, child, non-human animal, group, ideal, or indeed almost any entity or concept, as well as specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem. Respect can be a specific feeling of regard for the actual qualities of the one respected. Respect as a form of behavior and participation is especially important in childhood as it serves as a basis of how the child must conduct themselves in their community.

However a lot of human have been a respecter of persons and not a respectful person owing to the fact that the respected owes a position which they would benefit.
 Efe was a normal warri commoner who had friends and foes before he took the BBNija journey but all because he came back victoriously all and sundry wanted to be his friends all because he is a trending figure at the season.

Now think of it every day you upload your picture and get nothing than 12 likes at most 15, however you now got yourself taking a picture with this so called Efe in it had 145 likes, 15 friend request from unknown people just because you had Efe on your facebook page.

Same also for Anthony Joshua who defeated klitschko in Britain was celebrated by the fellow Nigerians however at his victory was his father’s house traced to sagamu and this is one who didn’t even get a chance to represent his country but by the time he discovered himself and did not give up he was celebrated as if he fought for Nigeria,but if he had failed you will have been seeing comments like- who sent him message , ta ni o ran se . so even as at when trying  the most difficult task you must do it with the ultimatum of success and nothing else if not your effort has no crown

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Destiny

Every great destiny that was fulfilled did not happen by chance. In fact, until force is applied, no destiny is fulfilled. This sacrifice is a vital force for achievement.

Sacrifice does not mean working only when you feel like, it means working delightfully when you don't feel like. It means don't as stipulated and not as convenient.

While doing your best is good, going beyond your best is sacrifice; and sacrifice is the only key that guarantees return on investments.
Make a sacrifice today, and be a king tomorrow. 

FRM JOINT PSYCHOLOGIST OF CHANGE

You can only get this through Hardwork and determination

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How to change your life:

 The Psychology of Change™
 If you don't conquer self, you'll be conquered by self."-Napoleon Hill. Some people try to avoid change in life, others try to ignore it, many have pretended like there's no change, but only a few have understood that change is inevitable. In this life, nothing is stagnant. Life itself, is dynamic, not static. 
           As a result, no condition is permanent, and after the rain comes the sun. There are several areas of your life you might want to change. You might have even told yourself that "It's impossible to change", but as a psychologist of change, I believe that "Whatever is ardently desired and vividly seen, will inevitably come to pass." As such, it's more than possible. Before you give up, please, think about those who did have a far worse situation than you have now but have left the island of complaining for outstanding success. As wise people, we should learn from their history in order to become better, for those who don't learn from history are bound to repeat it. However, before you change your life, you'll have to ask yourself if change can happen in an instant. Whether this write up works or not, it depends on your answer to the question. "Behold, I shew you a mystery...but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye...and we shall be changed." 1 Corinthians 15:51-52 KJV.
     Steps to a lasting change √Move on with your life Thomas Edison remarked that many of life's failures are those who gave up without realizing how close they were to success. I know many bad things would have happened in your life, and you have tried to correct it over and over, but in all your efforts, you failed. The good news is that before you use failures as stepping stones for success, you must free yourself from the past and understand that life goes on. √Change your limiting beliefs Because some people have failed woefully, even though they have tried their best, they auto suggest to themselves that because "I have failed here many times, I am failure and I will keep failing." Modern day psychologists would say people like that have developed a disease called "Learned Helplessness." Learned helplessness is a situation whereby you rehearse your past failures in your head every time till the point you cannot see anything good again. That's why I believe "Experience is not the best teacher" but "Evaluated experience can serve as a good teacher." √Ask what you want, get what you'll see Don't sweat the small stuff..... and it's all small stuff. Use questions to your advantage. Stop using questions to doubt yourself, but use questions to know why things are the way they are. "Why have I continue to fail in relationships? Why have I not been free from depression?' I believe that asking sincere questions like that can be helpful because questions are the answers, and if you ask intelligently, you'll receive.... and your expectations shall not be cut short. √Confront that insurmountable mountain "For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith." Mark 11:23 If you really want a change, make a change. 
     Remember, what you don't confront you can't conquer and where you don't travail you can't triumph. √Find a remedy If your problem is an addictive habit that you want to change, it's important to know that your brain has created a space for that habit in your head, as a result, you can repeat that habit 85% without realizing it. So I advice that if you gamble a lot, you can look for another addictive but positive habit like reading, exercising etc to replace the old habit.

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JUNE 12

Days have gone by; people have moved on, businesses have picked up. Just like yesterday, June 12, 1993 still remains a seminal moment in the democratic emancipation of our dear country – Nigeria. Arguably, June 12 is regarded as the authentic democracy day as against the May 29 popularly celebrated by the federal government.

The June 12, 1993 election was one of the most transparent elections so far in the democratic history of Nigeria; it was peaceful, free and fair, majority participation and devoid of tribal differentiation.

Abiola was not just a man of the people, but a totem and symbol of the actualization of the Nigerian dream. He was looked upon as the savior and the real portrait of democracy. A lot of progressives have argued that the real democracy day should have been June 12 and not May 29 solely because of the peaceful election, regardless of the annulment by the then Head of State, Gen. Ibrahim Babangida because of alleged evidence that they were corrupt and unfair .

Over two decades after his demise (Abiola), Nigerians, especially the south-west are still in nostalgia of what could have been, and what Nigeria as a country could have achieved if the poisonous string of death had not snatched the life out of a quintessential Nigerian leader; one that we never had.

The sundry declarations of public holiday by preponderantly South-West states is a testament to the overwhelming influence the Abiola brand had on the populace.

Enduring legacies like the Moshood Abiola stadium, Moshood Abiola polytechnique and the popular Abiola garden are a few reminders and recognitions of the great works and deeds done by the late sage in the business and political stratosphere of the country. He is indeed a quintessential democrat.

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